The Mighty Fallen

There were a number of things I planned to blog about this evening:-

1. My sister and her limitless talent as an urban artist has once again caused some controversy following a newspaper article about her role teaching young people from sheffield how to "do graffiti". I think controversy is good when it comes to publicity, but I really do wish she would make more use of her free of charge PR guy brother before she jumps in with these wet behind the ears, out for a scoop journo's working the local rags (learn to take a hint sis).

2. The rugby team I play for each Saturday conceding its ninth consecutive defeat was also high on my list. The Didsbury 3rd team seem to be having less luck than a final destinaton movie, and I have sore shins.

3. The fact that I have become completely and utterly obsessed with this years X Factor, mostly because of our home girl from Blackburn Diana Vickers, but also because I simply love to watch the way they run things. The PR stunts, the media scandals, the emotive editing. They must be making a bloody fortune.

4. The entire staffteam of numpties who work at the Vodafone store on Market Street in Manchester. It seems a maximum IQ of 49 and a fancy hairdo are the only pre-requisites to employment there.

But then I watched The Fallen, a feature length docufilm that provides a candid and often brutal insight into the lives of the families who have been left behind following the deaths of their loved ones in Afghanistan and Iraq. I could not help but feel a pang of dissapointment in myself for being so self concerned and ignorant, shouting insults at the X factor whilst kicking back and enjoying a few cheapo Asda beers and feeling sorry for my lightly bruised rugby shins whilst wondering whether my housemate Greg will notice that I nicked one of his Rocky Robins.

I know a lot of lads who are completely Army Barmy. They know that when they go into the theatre of conflict they are at risk of injury or death. Some enjoy the thrill, some just want to survive and come home. Yet there is an amount of the "it wont happen to me" ideology that exists amongst them. It was truly heart wrenching to delve into the lives of the surviving families and to see how they handle the flood of emotion that wells up within them when they talk of their fallen sons and daughters. This was a film that truly needed to be made. When we see the news of another soldier dead in Afghanistan, there is little we can do to relate or associate oursleves with their life. We often fail to realise or understand the enourmosity of their death. A name, a rank and regiment, their age, perhaps the name of their hometown. Then we close the page and go back to our spreadsheet or overpriced coffee.

What we dont see is the shot that enters through the side of the flack jacket, into the kidneys and up through the spine and into a lung. We dont see the desperate attempts of close friends to fashion a stretcher from combat jackets and branches. We dont see the team of medics battling on the Chinook elbow deep in blood to save a 19 year old life that they watch ebb away. We dont think about the mental trauma that being part of this brings to his fellow infantrymen. We dont think about how the family accept the news. We dont think about the empty bedroom their son wont come back to or how a widow comes to terms with sleeping alone in a double bed.

I am guilty of turning the page and moving on. Almost a year ago to the day I was in the front rank of the Duke of Lancasters Infantry Regiment parade on Rememberance Day. As we marched off the square following the service the hundreds of people in attendance began to applaud and cheer. It was at that point I realised that we turn the page not because we dont care, but because we simply struggle to relate and because we are pretty powerless to do much else.

So The Fallen was a very appropriate film, because it allows us to relate to the realities of what happens to the soldiers of the British Army and their families. The next time I see a story of another soldier dead in Afghanistan or Iraq I will certainly take a moment to reflect on just how lucky I am before going back to my spreadsheet.